Knowledge
by sanieSaiyan
Summary: I watched Him, I loved him, I lost him, But I still know him far better then she ever will. A note to naruto in sasuke's journal. Complete. second chap quite sad please read and review it's M just to be safe mild sasunaru
1. i know you

_AN:Okay people, This story had me crying. Sad when your own story makes you sad.  
Its a story of unrequited love and it is complete._

_hmmm i did have more to say but i've seemed to have forgotten >  
It's my first Naru/Sasu and it is Angsty. On with the first Chap and enjoy_

**I know you.**

I watched him a lot, you know?  
When we were younger.  
Those tear stained cheeks, those sad blue eyes, that wild gold hair. I could never really understand WHY i watched him, why i seemed to feel his pain resound sharply throughout my own chest.  
and that was before i ever knew him.  
Before i knew his stength at bareing the horrible treatment of the village, before i even knew OF the treatment of the villages. I know him now, and i still watch him. I watch his smile widen into a grin, a real grin, when he is with the gang; with full knowledge that he has been accepted and is liked, that he has friends that would die for him and who he would be happy to die for. I watch him show when he is sad or annoyed, when he is serious or calm, no longer needing to draw attention to himself because of his desire to be acknowledged. that of course doesn't mean he isn't just as loud or annoying as before, it just means that there are rare occasions where he is blissfully silent.

I watch him with knowledge that he is stupidly oblivious to the fact that out of us all, i know him the best, that out of us all, i accept him and acknowledge him more and that out of us all, I love him the most.  
He will always be oblivious to this and i know that, after all, he may of dropped his mask but he is still a stupid Loud Ninja. And I accept it, because that is just the way that he is, and i wouldn't change him for the world.  
But that doesn't stop my dreams, dreams that seem to take me over at night. Imagining us together:  
Him laying in my lap, my fingers on one hand playing with glorious gold hair, the other hand stroking scarred cheeks. Him babbleing non-stop about trivial things and me, being true to form, not listening to a word and both of us knowing and accepting each other enough to realize this and just not care, both content to stay in each others, both content with the others company to ignore the fact that i'm not listening and he's babbleing nonsence just to stop his boredom and inability to stay inactive for to long.  
I love these dreams really, dreams of us together, but at the same time i hate them, or rather, i just hate waking up from them, i hate the reality i'm presented with, the reality and the truth that what i dream is simply impossible to ever be fulfilled.

So i watch him, i watch as he and the Hyuuga girl gets closer every day. And how he and i get so distant.  
He doesn't need me anymore there was a time, not to long ago when he counted on me and needed me, i was the only friend he had. But my own stupidity caused him to drift from me. Drift? who am i fooling? i took the best friend i had, someone i needed more that life its self, someone i needed to retain my sanity, and i threw him away like rotten meat.  
No wonder whenever he sees me now he looks away, eyes downcast and as sad as they had been when we were children. I hate the fact that I caused that, i never wanted to see that look again, and yet i am the cause of his pain. so in my eyes, it is better for me to simply watch him live out his life, making sure that he is happy and safe in his relationships as can be. And when he marries that Hyuuga Girl, i'll be there, watching him, and knowing that the Hyuuga will never ever know him as well as me, and NEVER EVER EVER love himas much as I, Uchiha Sasuke love Him, Uzumaki Naruto.


	2. I thought i knew

_And the second chapter being the conclusion. This Chap was a second thought So if you don't want a sad ending dont read, it's not really required.  
Oh and Review PLEASE thanx Sanie_

2nd Chap:

**I thought I Knew**

Sasuke put down the pen next to the writing pad that had become his journal, he sighed softly and got up from the desk, but not before closing the journal and scrawling something on the cover.  
He turned his head slowly towards the bathroom, his eyes dull and very sad glancing to the object on the bench, next to the sink.  
He crossed the room in a daze, entered the bathroom and picked up the Kunai, blinking slowly he sat on the closed toilet seat, lifted the Kunai and drove it into his wrist. He no longer had a point to living, his brother was dead, killed by Sasuke last year, and without the revenge to keep him going, sasuke realized that sasuke only had one other reason for living, and that reason now hated him. So sasuke was content to leave this living world and continue watch his reason from the other world, it was all he could do now.  
He was an Avenger, a Betrayer. He was not needed, not now, not anymore.  
As the blood poored from sasukes wound he sighed softly, in his mind he pulled an image of not two years ago, of one of those days were Naruto and he had spoken for more then two seconds after he had returned to Konoha.  
"sasuke" Naruto had whispered softly, the sun setting behind him had created a fitting backdrop for the blond.  
"Yes"  
Naruto looked up into Sasuke's eyes, sadness infecting the happy blue that was usually shown, "I loved you when we were Twelve"  
with that said the blond walked away, leaving sasuke standing, shocked to his shoes.  
The Blond stopped about four meters away from him, "I loved you and you threw that away." he whispered so softly that sasuke strained to heat him, then continued toward the ramen joint he frequented, to meet up with the rest of the rookie 9.

Sasuke didn't realize as he drew his last breath that tears trailed down his cheeks, didn't notice the kunai dropping to the ground and never heard the pounding at the door and the loud voice that accompanied it saying "Oi Sasuke-Teme, Open Up, We've come to give you a birthday party and to say you've been in exile long enough, come join us for once Ya Bum!" He Never heard the door being pounded on, never heard it crash to the ground, he never saw Naruto's face when he spoted sasuke slumped on the toilet seat, blood pooling around him, Nor did he hear Naruto's frantic pleas to "Please don't die, Please don't die because i still love you!" Because it was already to late.

Sasuke was already dead.

Naruto picked the journal up of his desk, the medics long gone, the blood long gone and any sign that sasuke had ever been slumped in the bathroom, dead, long removed. The cover was white and scrawled across it in sasukes neat penmanship was a note addressed to him

_'Naruto, To you i leave my journal, My memories, My heart, My very soul, Please forgive my weakness, But i could not bare life without you. Forever your friend Sasuke-teme'_

Naruto opened the Journal and read, his cheeks soaked from his tears, and his quiet sobs wracked his body, as he grieved his most precious person's departure from his life forever.

REVIEW


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